Self-Love, Self-Care, Acceptance and Kmart

Who wants to talk about self-love? Not me. Ick, it just sounds so silly. Oh, you’ve got to put yourself first; meditate, light a candle, love your body, love your personality. And this one made me laugh, massage your feet with intention and thank them for getting you around. Thank you feet, for not being stinky.

All jokes aside, I think this whole self-love trend isn’t too helpful. Google the term and you’ll find thousands of articles about what you must do if you are to love yourself. Many of the suggestions don’t resonate with the majority of us. How could they? We're all different. Then you wonder, well if I don’t learn to massage my feet everyday "with intention", then I'm somehow abandoning my needs.

Some of the lists of suggestions get quite ridiculous, such as: shower yourself in good vibes. What the heck does that mean? Write yourself a love letter (that’s just weird). Take yourself out on a date. Ummmm, not until I get my love letter first Nikky!

This over-the-top self-love movement is not healthy. YOU MUST LOVE YOURSELF! Use positive self talk. I’m awesome, I’m amazing, my body is perfect. Isn’t this just a form of false self-esteem? It’s like that positive thinking movement, no one can be positive all of the time, it’s OK to be in a bad mood sometimes; god it’s normal. No one feels comfortable around those fake positive people, you know them, you can spot them a mile away! It's like their eyes are going to explode at any minute and their anger and sadness will pour out like lava.

Being dissatisfied with certain aspects of yourself is what motivates you to make changes that docreate a positive boost of self-esteem. You can’t live in a bubble of glitter and unicorns. The world can be unfair and we need to learn how to deal with that in a healthy way. I haven’t met anyone who loves everything about themselves, and if someone believes they do, they’re lying to themselves. And I’m going to take a stab in the dark here; lying to yourself is probably not a form of self-love.